Quoted from an LJ (livejournal) of I think an interesting man… Jed…

Magaling syang writer sa tingin ko.. pero wala syang pakialam kung mababasa nya to..kasi hindi nya naman ako kilala pero nagbabasa ako ng LJ nya… avid reader nga ko eh… pero di ako nagcocomment… tamang basa lang….

“….. Sa huli naman kasi, hindi mo malalaman kung may hiya yung mga taong tinulungan mo ng buong puso mo. Hindi mo malalaman kung alam nila yung konsepto ng utang na loob. Hindi mo malalaman kung talagang naapektuhan mo sila o nakatulong ka talaga sa kanila…….”

Entry nya yan noong New Year… anyway tama nga naman sya… Parang ngayon ko lang na feel na kapag may tinulungan ako.. I mean tulong ba talaga yon sa kanila… or pag nakagawa ako na importante saken, eh wala namang kwenta sa iba, kahit ginawa ko yon para sa kanila… oha.. cruel talaga ang life…

Tapos syempre nakagawa ka na ng sa tingin mong maganda, super judge pa sila sa nagawa mo… tapos yung judge nila as in negative or opposite sa akala mo… Eh yung akala mo naman kasi base dun sa mga sinabi nila na magaganda… so syempre ikaw naman si tanga naniwala after non, lahat ng magandang ginawa mo…pag nagkamali ka lang ng once, makakalimutan nila lahat.. and mapapalitan ng hate nila sayo… kahit yung pagkakamali na sila lang nakakita eh tama naman para sayo… ewan ko kung bakit nauso yan…

At ewan ko kung bakit nangyayari saken yan ngayon… haha… putangna…

0----------0

Thankful ako, kasi nalaman ko na ang yaman yaman ko pala!!! Haha!!! Ang yaman yaman ko sa FRIENDS.. oo kaibigan…. Ang sarap ng feeling na alam ko nanjan lang sila… yung mga totoong nakakakilala saken…. Yung mga kilala ako as ako… And appreciate kung ano ako…. Alam nilang hindi ako masamang tao, pero alam din nilang hindi ako isa sa mga ‘good’ na maicoconsider kasi very rare na nabubuhay na ganon.. and even sila di ko consider na good, di dahil sa ayaw ko sa kanila, mas comfortable ako kung sasabihin mo yung totoo, edi bad sila… kasi ang description ko sa good yung as in heaven sent na, hindi nagmumura or walang ginagawang hindi maganda… eh wala na namang ganun dito… kung gagamitin sya sa tao say “good akong tao”… sus kalokohan yan… mabuti pang sabihin mong bad ka kaysa mangloko ka di ba…

Eto isang alam nila saken.. ‘ginagawa ko gusto kong gawin,’ and ginagawa ko yan to satisfy myself.. alam ko kung anong makakapag pasaya saken… And pinag iisipan ko yun, bago ko gawin or sabihin.. kaya ako tahimik right? I don’t look for friends na ang purpose lang nila ‘basta makatulong sila saken’… bakit pa ko makikipag friends kung mang aapak lang ako di ba… di naman ako nang gagamit… and wala naman akong pinagsisisihan sa mga pinag gagagawa ko basta ang alam ko, hindi ko sila nasasaktan at wala akong ginagawang masama sa kanila… kung sa tingin nila masama yung ginawa ko na sa tingin ko helpful naman sa kanila… edi ok lang… wala na ko magagawa dun…

Ayon lang… natutuwa ako kasi nandyan kayo.. and kilala nyo ko… hindi ako mamamatay tao… hehehe mamamatay puso lang… wakokoko….

o-----------o

Basta sa lahat ng nakakakilala saken… mga kilala ko… thank you ng marami… sa mga tropa ko na hanggang ngayon tropa ko pa rin, ung mga oluaris jan, mga high school friends, sa totoo lang maraming nakakakilala saken pero hindi ko sila kilala lalo na nung high school, salamat sa inyo… sa mga oluaris, malapit na uli session namimiss ko na kayo…. Text text pa rin basta communication lang….

Sa mga TAE na tropa ko ng college hanggang ngayon, mga barkada kong engineers kuno, I love you talaga… mahal ko kayo… walang iwanan, keep in touch lang… basta stay tight, alam nyo naman yon… mejo seryoso ako ngayon pagbigyan nyo na ko… hehehe…

Tapos sa mga close friends ko, dethdeth menggay… kath… RO friends na mailap pero hindi nang aaway… hehehe… kay miche sa pinsan ko.. kay ate happy birthday pala… kila neri maine happy birthday din lapit na… kay jez happy birthday lapit na din.. kay papa edsel… naks… lapit na din…. Ayun…

Sa inyong lahat.. salamat…..

o------o

Calling attention of Kevin… pakitext ako, may good news ako.. and ewan ko yung isa kung bad news sau or good news saken.. hehehhe….. ^_^ its not about the story… very far dun… may ikkwento ako biliiiiissssss!!!! ^^

Before we start, I just want you to know that the names used for the characters of this story are inspired by the real person and people around him who owns the concept and idea of the story.
Copyright protected, any way of producing copy of this story without any consent from the author is prohibited.... tanda nyo sa bato!!! *naks may ganun! haha!! so much for the word story, super redundant ata... well.. anyway...*




FINDING HEAVEN

Prologue

She lights her cirgarette, take a few deep puff then get ready for her shot.

"Go girl! I know you'll like this one.... favorite eh!"
"Huh. Baka mamatay kayo sa bitin dyan pag inubos ko to... Mary Jane is such a disgusting name but i like it when it is named after heaven.... MariJuana..."
"Tang ina mo! adik ka talaga!!!"

Every inhale makes her whole, the coldness brought to her lungs gives intense blood to her body, embraces the warmth of her breath just like a thirsty animal. Seems like stairway to clouds, every step brings one step closer, till she feels laying in the air... Finally, she got there.."


*to be continued*

Hahaha!!! At last! Nakpagpost din!!!

My blog had overslept, so I think I have to bring back this to life again, n rock my readers (waaaaa ala na nga eh!) at the same time. Anyway I had this blog about a year already and I haven’t celebrated yet by posting.. how sad talaga, but for the sake of wriggling my writer soul *wayup!* an keeping alive while I’m tambay, I guess I have to make my fingers an other edge of my brain to still keep up the work. I have so much more things to write on, simple yet will surely tingle your inner you, pero sa sobrang dami di ko na maalala yung iba…. Hehehe

A year passed na when I had this blog, so for reminiscing moments with my page, here are the links of the most common stories I wrote. Baka kasi di mo pa nababasa yung stories divided through monthly archives, saying din yun…. Bumisita ka pa kung di mo lulubusin pagbabasa di ba… baka you’re not an avid reader of my blog.. I tell you.. you miss one rockin’ thing part of your single years… *commercial ituh! Hehe*

STILL
Confession of a student (Chapter 1)
Confession of a Student (Chapter 2)
Confession of a Student (Chapter 3)
Confession of a Student (Chapter 4)

Confession of a Student (Chapter 5)
Confession of a Student (Chapter 6)
Confession of a Student (Chapter 7)
Missing Hisghschool
NGITI
A Sin... A Gift...
BEQUEST
THOUGHTS (Bequest 2)
BEQUEST 3

So there, I hope to hear comments from you guys, para naman malamang ko kung may nagbabasa pa nito… kulang na lang i-endorse ko number ko ditto… pero waggggg… jackpot ka nun! Hahaha!!

What keeps me busy??? Syempre finding nemo… este work…*acheche* and its not easy kasi mejo mapili ang lola…how I wish I have one na… para malibre ko na ikaw!! Oo ikaw!!! Tara inuman tayo minsan pag may jape na ko! Hehehe…

One more thing na very interested ako these days is improving my creativity *whoala! Mewon pala ko nun*… grabeh natuwa talaga ako nung nagawa ko 1^st siggy ko, its an achievement wow!!! Hehehe… very minimal lang kasi alam ko sa photoshop, and I’m still practicing and super kapa as in kasi walang help or tutorial yung nak install sa PC… so super download ako ng mga tutorials to learn deeper and more about it… and to show you what I did as a beginner… anjan mga banners… hehehe..yung isa exclusively for our forum poofs… yung mga ka ekekan kong vruhang classmates… hehehe…. Care to give comments… papasahan kita ng load!!! Waaahh!!! Sugar mami?!?!?

TenTenTenTen….

And here’s the highlight of my post… *anu ba yan nadistract ako may tumawag..hehehe anywayyy….* I got a new story!!! *after 48 years* inpired by one of my friend… papa Kev!!! Hahaha!!! Actually, yaw nya pasabi yung name nyan ni Kevin eh, eh di ko naman story toh so I need to acknowledge my friend Kevin di ba…. Pasensya na Kevin ha… di ko kasi pede hindi sbihin kung kanino galing original idea ng story na toh Kevin eh..alam mo yun… hehehe… I’m sorry or keeping you waiting , I know you opened my blog and look for updates, unfortunately wala pa etoh p lng… pero may improvements na.. pasensya talaga mejo natagalan… I already written the prologue, and now I’m starting the first chapter… sa haba ng plot na tinext mo, I cant make it na isang bagsakang story lang tapos you requested na have it my style, so malamang madagdagan pa yun… mejo kengkoy kasi style ko eh… wehehehe…. Honga pala, Im having problems with some part of the story, and hindi ka nagrereply sa mga text ko, kasi magpapatulong ko mag isip…. Basta pag nabasa mo tong post ko text me agad… one reason din yun kung bakit nahihirapan ako mag umpisa sa 1^st chapter… Pero meron na kong idea… and yung prologue is maiksi lang para may ilagay pa ko sa middle ng story… oha!!!!

Ayun! Ayun lang!!! wehehehe… till my next post , expect the prologue of the story… and sa mga magpapagawa ng signatures or banners… negotiate with me… or tuturuan ko na lang kayo… cge!!! Oh pano!!! Yngats!!! – biogesic!

Muahugs!!!! POOFS forum…

From a 1^st time Voter…

Hahaha!!!! At last!!! I knew what it feels to have a dirty finger!!! Waaaahahaha!!!

Wala lang tong post na toh, magkwekwento lang ako… about.. hmm… well basahin mo na lang.. ^^

The day before the election, eh tradition na ni ate bumili ng bulletin every Sundays, so I’ve read an article from their mini magazine, Panorama ata yun, *hhehehe di alam eh noh*, and natuwa ako dun sa article written by… uhm…. I forgot the writer pero girl sya… about sa first time voter yung article nya. Letter style yung article, a virgin voter who writes to a candidate in the election. She said everything what it feels like to be a voter, she mentioned what a candidate always memorize during campaign, the status of the voter, and other issues which awakened my awake soul. At the end of her letter she said that her vote is not for sale. From a professional writer, no big deal why she had written it so sticky to the eye for like me a first timer, though I don’t know who really cares, but at least I care *naks*. Ang galing. Simple pero rock. I hope you read it also. Magbasa ka kasi, hmp!

Edi yun, the next day, the big day of reuniting the country *ow?*, election day. I am proud to say that I am a first time voter, and its all been worth it for my time to go to our school and vote wisely. Wala na kong naging problems unlike ng mga reports sa TV, missing names, relocation of the voters and other ek-ek… Lucky me, my name is on the exact precinct they assigned to me. So syempre, di naman maiiwasan makita yung mga teachers na naging sandalan ko during high school, so yun konting kamustahan, while doing stuffs for election, getting my thumb mark then my signature. I seated on one of the chairs, casted my vote, no erasures and especially no blanks, then shit, time to have my first dirty finger… sabi ko nga kay Ma’am kontian lang eh, pero medyo marami pa rin yung nilagay nya… huhuhu…. Ayos!

Ha ano yun? Sino binoto ko? Secret ata yun eh…

Anyway, I mostly voted the candidates from Genuine Opposition, I think two independent candidates, then others are from Team Unity… I really like to vote Chiz, I adore him everytime I watched him in TV, because damn, he speaks soooo…. POWERFUL… galing nya mag debate, and his words are carefully arranged and very well said.. So as Legarda, a beautiful woman with a clean image and proven her service. Yung ibang candidates were dictated by my friends and family, 9 senatorial candidates originally or personally decided by me, then 3 of them are I think base on ‘who sounds good’, more or less popularity counts. Let’s not talk about the local candidates shall we? As if naman na mag care ka pa… eh di mo naman sila kilala…

Super sad nga lang, kasama tayo sa isa sa mga bansa na may ‘eewww politics’… as in.. excited pa naman ako bumoto, pero nakaka inis ang daming nangyayaring dayaan after.. and nahuhuli na watchers of flyers or endorsers or campaigners na hindi alam yung rules and regulations, and hindi man lang inaalagaan ng candidates na humahawak sa kanila pag nahuli sila, super deny ang candidate… grabeh grabeh talaga… kung anu anong siraan sa mga candidates yung nangyayari… hay kelan ba magbabago mga Pilipino.. nakakainis talaga…. Why people do such things para lang sa pera, ganun na ba kababa tong lupa kung san ako nakatuntong… I believe na may pag asa pa tayo, need lang na makialam yung mga youth like us *naks kasali daw ako*, alam nyo yun, 1 vote is a big count, kahit na hindi ko nakikita yung progress or nafifeel man lang, I want to be part of one of the uniting events a democratic country can offer, it is my right, and I choose to fight for it… *naks* So kayo, sana maging concern din kayo, walang magbabago kung gaganyan ka na lang lagi, tatay ko nga nasa ibang lupa, pero he still cares…

Ayun lang.. sana lang tamaan kayo, and will vote for the next election…

Waaahhh!!! Ang dumi ng kuko ko!!! Shef! Amf!!! >_<

060507

20.54

No. I’m not ok.

I’m doing this because I cant keep it to myself, oh sige say I possess that ‘strong personality’ and I am matigas, pero human din ako and it’s not easy… you think it is?? It’s up to you…

Before anything else, anyone from *tae who will be reading this, please I don’t want to hear damn from you regarding this, just keep it to us… anyway, you are one of the taes after all, right…

This is for Pare *you know who you are*, you know what just happened earlier and what will happen to us from now on… Alam mong hindi ako ganun kadaldal pagdating sa labasan ng expressions, I know you noticed na wala akong masabi, I’m just giving reactions… and that’s all… You don’t know what my side is…. I don’t care either you read this or not… as if you care anymore… I want to take this out or I’ll die.

Kala mo ganun kadali nung sabihin kong ‘wag ka ng tumawag’, alam kong alam mo it means goodbye… or… badbye??? Halos manginig boses ko… It was not easy. Ang hirap. Di mo lang alam… oh sige ako na yung walang alam… Do you realize what you have said to me? “Minsan ka lang masaktan, ang dami mo pang reklamo…” “Maglaro ka lang, buhay ka na…” tsss… tang inang yan… how can you judge me like that…… nanliit ako dun ah…

And katulad nga ng sinabi ko sayo, bakit kelangan mo pang ulit ulitin sakin na sinaktan kita… damn bilang mo pa… 3x ba yun?! Di ako makapaniwalang sa lahat ng friends ko, ikaw pa magsasabi sakin ng ganun… how dare you ipamukha sakin yun! Kinokonsensya mo ko… oo alam ko ginawa ko yun, pero shet naman di mo lang isang beses inulit ulit sakin yan….. Di madali kung alam mong may nasaktan kang iba, tapos pilit mo pang pinapaalala…

‘Pwede kahit minsan lang.. ibaba mo naman pride mo.. ang taas taas mo’ – line mo yan… ginawa ko na yan… kung di mo napansin well problema ko ba yun? May narinig ka ba saken? Did I said wala kang kwenta… I never said that, ikaw lang nagsabi nun… Did I said something about your attitude… did I criticize you heart? Did I tease you when your hurt? All I know was I just listen and answer all your questions, I stay quiet pag wala akong masabi or I choose to hide what I should say.. I’m not a person of words, I may not be that expressive but hey at least I’m giving you the best words I can give…no words… Or should I say the best reaction I can give… no reaction… If they aren’t enough, sorry…

Okay sige… ok lang yun… wala na saken yun eh nagsorry ka na naman… that’s all I wanted to hear, or even if you didn’t say so… you are forgiven na… and ayokong isa isahin pa mga sinabi mo, ayaw kita konsensyahin, and ayaw ko na ipaalala baka makasakit na naman ako… Oo naging matigas ako kausap ngayon para makatulong yun, I know you’ll hate me… mas okay un para mas madali… Okay na yun, gusto ko na nga makipagbati sa totoo lang, pero napag isip isip ko na… nakakaistorbo na ko… so I stand back…

The real reason is that, I choose to end what we have because it seems I’m bothering you both… oo siya nga, your life… and ayoko ng ganun… hindi sa nagjejelly ako or something… that’s stupid of me… I know I have caused you and your life a few fights, and selos moments… it doesn’t feel okay anymore on my side, knowing na ganun… I feel like pang gulo lang ako, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s relationship… that is why I decided to give up our friendship… wala eh, wala na kong maisip na ibang mas effective way to stay us tight… so I took the opposite side… mahirap… alam kong di ka naniniwala na mahirap pero mahirap talaga yun, kasi nakikita mo na parang wala lang saken para di ka na rin mahirapan… I am not that helpful for you anymore, I’m sorry for giving you troubles… Masakit toh saken pero… alam kong kaya mo… kahit wala ako… sus as if na parang kawalan ako sayo… ang bad ko di ba… para satin din toh…

Sooner or later, you will realize then you would say ‘I don’t need pare, she just pisses us off’… and then you would say to yourself na ‘laking tulong ni pare nung nawala sya, mas naging better pa life ko’…. Well, I only wish you the best… Di ako galit.. I hope you get my point… and you try to understand why I did that….This is all for the sake of us and the people around us…

Hmm… I think I have said it all, nice and straight… Pasensya na hindi ako ganun kagaling mag express, and hindi ganun kadali ilabas… marami namang nakakaalam na I’m a person who hides everything, unless you ask me… etoh lang talaga medyo di ko kinaya.. its funny but I almost cry… kaya nilabas ko na agad dito, coz I was like telling myself na I won’t cry and regret because this is what I chose…

So there… haayyy… shet para akong nakatae.. hehe… Notice medyo brawny yung emotion impact ng lines ko, gusto ko lang talaga ilabas… wala akong ibang paglalabasan eh… ayoko naman tumae kasi di ako natatae… and I think mas ok na dito, kasi kung sino man toh sa friends ko I have to start the story from scratch, eh di naman talaga ganun ang purpose ko dito… wala naman talaga ako pinagkkwentuhan kundi papel…

Oh yah.. thanks pare for all you’ve done wrong and right of course, for making me happy… for cheering me up… for your help… for all texts, calls, and visits… for your ice cream on my birthday *un oh*.. thank you sa cap….. for all the fights you’ve given me… for your muahugs.. *ahehehe* … for always being there… for your kwentong barbero and everything… for your care… I really appreciate when you always say I’m special, thank you… hmm… anu pa ba… hmmm…. For all the moments.. and memories… basta salamat sa lahat… and sorry for what I did wrong, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just want you to learn and stay happy… I want you to be happy…*naks totoo yan* and this is the only way… Mamimiss kita ng sobra… you nailed a place in my heart as always… *^_^* take care …

Thank you and I’m sorry… *muahugs*