Sunday, July 23, 2006

a Sin.... a Gift...


a Sin, a Gift.

It’s been a long time since we’ve shared our moments together as one family. Those are the days that I still keep on my head until now that I’m away from mommy and daddy.

I remember the days when they don’t have me yet, when they spend most of their time together. Watching movies, hugging each other, saying ‘I love you’ until all the things around comprises their love. They were both happy and enjoying what teen lives can offer. I was so happy too seeing the love they shared and was very excited to feel that love from them. I can’t wait for so long to meet them, I even ask Him to make it early just to meet my mom and dad.

Their love became stronger as time passed by, became passionate, and more often did what’s beyond their limitation. They can’t help it. They can’t control it anymore. Their love caused an early sin, an early gift. So I came.

Six weeks I live with mommy before she realized that I am with her. When the time that she knew her self-pregnancy-test result, her nerves run through mine. I felt the coldness and fear passed within me for the first time. I was afraid like mommy. She was crying and I watched her as she did so for that was the only thing I can do in that time. Then she held me close to her, I was relieved.

Mommy told daddy that I am with her. Daddy got angry. They fought each other and they made a long fight that I myself got bored. I felt asleep in the middle of it. I was awakened hearing dad’s words to mom, “Don’t worry. It’s okay. I still love you”. He was hugging her while holding me. That was the most precious moment of my life.

Weeks after weeks, things just have gotten better and better. I thought things would be okay until the first day mommy will hold my hands, but I was wrong. All of my future imaginations are gone when I reached my 4th month.

Mom went to dad’s home to have a visit, also to tell grandma and grandpa that I am coming. A letter was given to mommy when we arrive there. Grandma and grandpa told my mom that my dad left that letter for her. Mom opened it, and she read it slowly..


I can’t.

I’m sorry.

Mom couldn’t believe for what she has read. She sat there for a couple of minutes, holding the letter, reading it over and over again, until she realized it was wet by her teardrops. Dad was gone. She stood and ran away from the door leaving my grandpa and grandma without a word or two. She ran as fast as she can. She drew thousand of tears while running and I… I was so scared. I hold to mom as tight as I can while trying to stop her, but she can’t hear me nor she didn’t notice me at all. As she continued to run, my home which protects me is starting to shatter, I still hold on. After a minute, blood was running through me and trying to carry me away from my grip, I was so scared that my grip becomes tighter. Suddenly, mom stopped and felt my existence at last. She was in a harsh pain, so am I. After a few moments, we were on a hospital. Mister Doctor and Miss Nurse rushed us to a room full of lights and machines, it’s an emergency room. Mom was hardly bleeding and I can barely breath. I seek for an air but there was none, I heard mom’s calling me… “Baby!!”… I hold to mom once more, searching for some air to breathe. Suddenly, my grip becomes lighter then I realized that blood is carrying me away, I can’t help it anymore. I saw light when I slipped out from her, for the first time I saw my mom’s face, she was like me. “Baby!!” she said. I was so happy that time, she was crying, I can’t feel my body… I look to her for the last time then… I felt to asleep.

I wrote this journal as our editorial clip in our newsletter when I was in my first year college...
I was inspired by one of the students who wrote in the official newsletter of FEU *I love reading newsletter from school, especially those articles wrote by students - lupet!... and I admire their cartoonist... galing! \m/* about the merging of FEU and EAC. The whole article was not pointing directly about that issue but he mentioned it anyway, so I wrote this one.


Reading newspaper is what I always do during my past time, of course to increase the knowledge treasured in my empty head brought by my genius professors who act differently during class. I’m really inspired by those writers who mostly and specially the students of Far Eastern University who create a masterpiece of article, should I say. Students like us react emotionally and violently through writings especially when we’re studying in a school that demands a high tuition g\fees yet call by the other schools as jologs. No, this editorial is not made against the faculty, the process of enrollment or whatever FEU students hate.

I was sitting on a chair in THB 2nd floor study area when one of my classmates gave me the latest copy of the official students publication of FEU and told me to read the article written by a student named H.C. ‘I’m a very jealous type of person and it really bothers me a lot to see blue pants students use the new building (Engineering Annex)’ – his introductory sentence that made my eyebrow move up. Although the whole article was about what they experienced studying in FEU but he totally pointed a shot. I know he’s only giving his opinion and I really appreciate that, and that’s what I’m doing right now.

Let’s face the truth that some of the tamaraws hate seeing blue students walking and hanging around their green campus. Different issues were talked about after that merging. They just don’t know that because of that, the level or standard of teaching in the university was being climbed up. They don’t know that the name of the university was brought popularity not just by the sports and medicine field, but also in the field of technology and engineering. They don’t know what trials they faced having a trimester basis to produce an excellent high quality student from the campus. They don’t know the very strict policies being run in both colleges to build the students’ strong self-discipline and maintain the aura of the pupils and the building. In fact, they were the model students who deserve a lot. Others just can’t accept the fact that blue pants are better than them, trying not to look in the brains but it’s the attitude and discipline that counts.

Yup, it’s the color discrepancy. Green and blue is not a good color combination, they say, why they can’t accept each other and treat them right? The campus must have united students, right? Having a parochial mind cannot help us reach the top.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Confession of a Student *chapter3*




^_~ : “Oh Recto! Recto!!” *tango sa babae para sumakay*

* Andar… Hinto…. Tawag pasahero….*

* Tawag pasahero… Andar… Hinto….. hinto…. Hintoooo….*

O_o : “Anu ba yan, puno na nga eh, nagtatawag pa..”

O_o : “Pahinto hinto naman si Manong… awwww…”

O_o : “Petsa na Manong…. 48 years…” *asar na..*

*Andar…. Hinto… Andar… hinto… hinto…hintoooo…*

O_o : “Ahuhuhu…. Bagal ng jeep…” *mangiyak ngiyak”

O_o : “Late na ko… potek!!! Ang aga aga ko sumakay dito tapos…” *asar na talaga*

O_o : “Asaarrr… Pinagdadasal pa naman pag late sa klase…. Kupad ng jeep na to… Dapat pala naglakad na lang ako…. Ahuhuhu…. Ano kaya magandang prayer?? … Manong kasi eh….” *super late… asar… inis… sarap magmura…*


*Andar.. ‘Kahit sulyap lang darna’… tugtog… ‘kelangan pa bang imemorize yannnnn… bisyo na toh’ ….andar……..*

^_^ : *para jeep* “Ayos to may tugtog!”

* tugtog… tugs.. tak…tutugs.. tutugs..tak…tugtugs.. tak… tugstak… beat..beat..beat… let’s get it on… yeah…ow… TUGTOG*

*Andar….eeennngg…tugtog na malupit… yeh.. yeh… yehh… andaarrrr*

^_^ : “Bayad po..” *abot bayad*

^_~ : “San to?”

^_^ : “Recto po..”

^_~ : “San? Kanto? Saang kanto?

^_^ : “Recto po Manong! .. Recto!”

^_~ : “Ilan tong Recto?”

^_^ : “Isa lang po yan… estudyante”

^_~ : “Oh sukli nung Recto…” *abot sukli*

^_^ : “Manong kulang po… isa lang po yun…”

^_^ : “Manong….”

C_c : “Manong sukli daw… kulang…”

^_~ : “Ano? Kulang?! Magkano?”

*tugtog…. Sabihin mo lang.. kung anong gusto mo… tugtog… oohh.. wwoohhoo*

^_^ : “Manong….”

^_^ : “Manong estudyante lang po yung recto.. isa…”

^_^ : “MANONG…”

^_^ : “MANONG TUGTOG NYO!!! SUKLI KO!!! *kakainis!!!*


^_^ : “Namaaann…. Late na ko…. Ayun!!!! *pumara ng jeep*

*sakay jeep….*

^_^ : “mmmm….”

*andar…eennggg…eeeenngg..zzzzooooommmmm….eennggg….wooossshhhhh…. hinto…andar…zzzzooommmm…wooosshhh…. Andar…andar….*

^_^ : “Ow…*hawak sa safety handle*”

^_^ : “Hmmp.. Hair ko… * hawak hair para di magulo*”

^_^ : *Hawak buhok… suklay ng daliri…. Shiyet.. buhol na hair ko.. hangin*

^_^ : *Di makatulog sa bilis ng jeep….*

*eeennggg… woooossshhhh.. zzzoooommm… eeeennnnnnnnggggggg……..*

^_^ : “ Ayos! Nakarating din!! Buti na lang umabot ako!!! Wahehehe… aga ko!!! Bilis n i manong!!!!”

* Sa room…. nakatingin lahat sa ken*

$_$ : “Miss Domingo, mahangin bas a labas?”

^_^ : “Ahuhu… yayabang nyooo…. T_T *


Voice over : “Iwasan po ang umapak sa dilaw na linya……”

*Tssssstttt…. <<<>

^_^ : “*Hmp.. hmp… siksik…siksik….hmp….siksik…*

^_^ : “Whew! Init! *hawak sa handle…sandal sa kabilang pinto… nakatayo…*

Voice over : “Ingatan lang po ang mga gamit…iwasan po ang sumandal sa magkabilang pinto ng tren…”

^_^ : “Wala kong narinig.”

*Tssssttttt…. D.Jose station….*

^_^ : “Hmp…excuse po…excuse…*siksik siksik*… padaan muna…waaaahhh…teka teka… may bababa pa… teka excuse……*tttiiiiiiittt…tttoootttt….. *doors closed*”


*Tsssstttt……… Carriedo……*

* Nag-give way yung mga tao sa loob ng tren… natakot ata sa sinabi ko…*

^_^ : “Ang aarte kasi eh… * asarr*”


^_^ : “Ayos! Nakaupo ako!!!”

O_O : “Yaahhh…”

U_U : “You know what?! I don’t know…”

O_O : “Really? I thought we’re having the same..”

^_^ : “Uhm…*wala lang..nakikinig kunyari*”

O_O : “Yaahhh… we have the same boyfriend..”

U_U : “What you say?!”

O_O : “ I say you what!!”

^_^ : “Aww… eh.. nu daw???”

^_^ : “ *sigh*”

^_^ : “duuhhh… whatever!! Well!!! Chuvaness!! Chukchakcheness!!! Eklavou!!.... in short … Nu daw?”


^_^ , O_o ------- ako kunyari

^_~ ------- driver

O_O , U_U , $_$ -------- people around me....

ENJOY!!! \m/

Sunday, July 9, 2006

A Box of Bands \m/


Wala ko mapopost na iba kaya magkwekwento na lang ako….

At wala ka rin namang magagawa kung di basahin tong post ko… Dahil nakarating ka dito sa blog ko… uumpisahan ko na para di ka mainip… nakakahiya naman sayo, minsan ka lang dumayo, di pa maganda mababasa mo… hehehe…

Ayun.. nung Friday ang saya saya na naman… Ang tagal ko na kasi di nakapanood again ng ‘isang pack na banda, na iba iba ang flavors’ and medyo iniiwasan ko na rin, pag naririndi lang yung tenga ko and pag feeling ko naiinip ako, naghahanap talaga ako ng gimikan na may banda… parang syndrome ko na yon… kung di man yon ang kapalit, inuman na lang… o kaya magbabad sa phone na walang kausap.. titigan lang kami… hehehe… Kasama ko si Neri, and yung classmate nya na guy si Tadz… One FUN and ROCKin’ Night!!!

“FRESH to PLAY” , UP Bahay ng Alumni *070706*

List of bands na “napanood ko”… meaning yung mga di ko naabutan or di ko na inabot ay wala sa list… and ito lang yung mga natatandaan ko…

KALA - “aw… Jeepney… Jeepney…oohhh… miss… Jeepney… Bumaba ako sa jeepney… *ay mali!!! >_<*” * di ko sila naabutan kahit 8:30 nandun na kami, yung song lang nila naririnig ko habang bumibili ng ticket…

UPDHARMADOWN - *uhm… wala ko ma-say… ah ayun! Di masyado narinig boses ni ate vocalist kasi yung sound system tinopak nung sila na, or should I say di maayos pagkakaset-up ng guitar ng gitarista nila… masyado kasing malakas and nangingibabaw sa boses ng kumakanta… ayun…rok.on!*

STONEFREE – “ tuloy tuloy ang ikot ng mundo….” *go! Miro (vocal)!!! Labyu!!!<<>

SOAPDISH – “Tensionado… nagulat din ako.. nung nalaman… na nanonood kayo…” *di naman sya tense non…hmm…*

PROTEIN SHAKE – “Ganyaaannn… Malas mo…. I, wag naman… You say, I’m only here when I want to…Much has been said…. Ganyaannn” *cool!!! Halo-halong song sa iisang rhythm… ang galing ni Tutti (vocal) ang Frutti Frutti pa!! yum yum!!! \m/*

DICTA LICENSE – “Sisikat din ang ating araw… woohh… ang alay mo’y nilisan na ng panahon…” *nice pare! Naalala kita dito!!! Pero masasabi ko… the best performance nila that night… simple pero rock… di masyadong wild pero nagustuhan ko talaga… ang galing… di ko ma-explain.. asteeg \m/

CALLALILY – “wooohooo..”… *wafu vocal!! Muahugs!*

RIVERMAYA – “umuuulan… woohoo” *wihihi.. one of the bands na gusto ko talaga mapanood… and thank Him nandun nga sila! Ang saya! Galing! \m/*

CHICOSCI –“saaaayyyy!!! *rooaarrr*” *yeaahh!! Yeow!! Chicosci!!! Luppeett!!! Roooaaarrrr!! Hehe… ‘parang Nazareno lang daw vocalist…’ sabi yan ng freshies… *sorry* eh pano kasi pumunta sya sa audience then yung mga audience naman pinupunasan yung pawis nya…halos di na sya makakanta kakapunas ng panyo sa mukha nya… hehe.. ewan!!! Ayaw nya mag-make up!! pero cutie sya infairness!!!*

MAYONNAISE – “Ayoko na gumising… sa king panaginip… panaginip!!” *aw.. lumilindol papa!!! Wag masyado magalaw okie?! I’ll give them 3 winks ^_~ sa performance and 5 winks ^_~ sa girl na bassist astig!*

SUGARFREE – “tolog na… mahal ku… tolog na tayu… inaantuk na ku… gabi na… owe na kayu” … “Ako ang hari ng sablay… ako lang! ako lang! ako lang!!!” *galing ng vocalist… galing magperform… one of the bands na nagpagising saken sa song na tulog na… hehe”

SANDWICH – “Suuuuggggooodddddd…. SUGOD!” *sige papa Raymond(vocal) wagayway mo pa ang red flag!!! Ano yan? ‘Live Long’ flag anti-AIDS? Hehe jowk lang… Ayaw mo naman hanapin ka namin kung san ka kumakanta.. nasa likod ka naman pala!! Sugod!\m/… thanks sa drinks na pinaagaw mo, wala ko nakuha!!!*

BAMBOO – *ay wala pala sya dun…>_<*

6CYCLEMIND – “halleeeluuuuuu..hallelujia *ay este* trip mo!! Trip ko!!! Sige lang sandal ka lang!!! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!” *^_~ papa Ney(vocal) galing galing you! Bagong haircut pa you!! Yung suot nya, yun pa rin nung nakita naming sya sa SM North yun ding day na yun… kumakanta sya sa B.U.M launching…with LJ and Danillo Barrios.. like I care with them? duh! Hehe…arte ko… anyway, uhm… yun lang…\m/*

PUPIL – “Nasa’n ka!!!” *nandito ako papa Ely!!! Ahihi… ayos lang.. ayos lang*

MOONSTAR 88 - *nasa CR kami habang kumakanta sila… nawiwiwi na kasi ako non… masakit na paa ko kakatayo kaya pahinga muna kami sa likod…*

BARBIE ALAMALBIS – “kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan…” *dandah dandah ni mama barbie.. nandun yung husband nya nanonood… ‘Best Wishes to the Newly Wed!!!’

IMAGO – “Isa dalawa tatlo…*blah blah* apat lima anim *blah blah*…” *ang galing nya magbilang infairness… hehe… dandah dandah niya… maingay yung tinugtog nila pero ayos lang… ‘apt with the atmosphere’…*

SPONGECOLA – “Naaalala ko ang mga gabi… Magkatabi sa ulaannnn hoowooh-hoowooo!!!” *syempre pa! nanood ako kasi nandun sila!... kinawayan ako ni Chris (drummer) yiihiiee.. ayos sulit na sulit!! Si Neri sulit kay Armo (lead guitar) kakatitig, buti natira pa yung kamay di natunaw kaya nakatugtog pa sila… hehe… one of the bands na nagpawala ng boses ko… LUPET! ASTEEGG\m/!! Gow sc!! Woohoo!!! <>

KJWAN – “Roooaarrrrrr….*sabay buga ng tubig sa taas*” *whew!!! Buti na lang sa taas nya binuga yung tubig sa bibig nya.. kung hindi, inabot kami non kung sa audience yun.. and gegerahin sila ng mga freshies… slash gee gee… well, nakita ko lang naman ang one of the VJ’s ng MTV *papa Mark* as their vocalist… weeellll…^_^*

JUANA – “Ikaw pa rin… ikaw pa rin……” *cute ni ate vocalist…. Cute nya.. hmp….*

KAMIKAZEE – “to the brainy high. To the sosy high.. to the MVP high…to the rebel high.. to the nice guy high… Nardaaaa paangkas naman!! … Asan ang tsinelas ko *roaarr* pu:@%$na(PI)… asan ang tsinela ko *rooaarrr* *yosi dito, yosi doon, pahingi ng yosi, inom tubig, salita salita blah blah* <<< *papa Jay’s mannerism… ‘ang pinakahihintay ng lahat’ at pinakahihintay ko rin… kamikazee’s performance is just unforgettable… lupet maghubad ni papa Jay, hanggang sa brief or boxer shorts na lang ata ang natira… dun ako sa likod kasi alam ko slamman na yun… ang macho! Puro buto! Yeah boy!... asteeegggg.. hanep sa rakrakan!!! Peace out!!! Shettt!!!\m/*

MOJOFLY – *next sa kamikaze na hindi na naming inabot dahil 2am na yun…*

Unknown Band – *di ko natatandaan yung name ng band nila eh… new pa lang kasi…nakakatawa toh… meron isang member nila na parang ewan… di ko alam kung may saltik yun or ewan, di ko na naintindihan yung song nila kakatawa namin.. pinasakit lang nila tiyan naming.. hehe… dapat mauso na rin mga joker bands ngayon… hehe*

PEDICAB - *uhm… ayoko sila… senxa na…*

with special participation of:

TUESDAY VARGAS with Ate Glow – “di ako bakla… kla kla kla , kla kla” *hahaha!!! Hahaha!!! Hahaha!!! Yun lang.. kakatawa sya eh hehe… grabeh yung nag-kiss sila as in lips2lips ni Ate Glow (yung bading na ginagaya si GMA)… kakatawa sila… sulit kami dun… di lang concert ang pinuntahan… parang comedy bar pa!!! wahahaha!!!lolz*

Meron pa ako namiss ilagay dito.. pero di ko na talaga naaalala… naaalala ko yung iba kaso di ko alam yung name ng band nila… kaya di ko na lang nilagay….

And di pa dyan nagtatapos ang kwento ko… lupet manermon ni sis pagdating ko…. Amf….. di kasi ako nagpaalam… kung anu-ano pinagsasabi… pero immune na tenga ko dun… tinulugan ko nga… hehehe… kaso pag gising ko nanay ko naman nanenermon… kakarindi… ayos lang…nilayasan ko nga, pumasok na lang ako sa school… kaso ang di mo akalain!!! Pati classmate ko sinesermunan ako!!! Kita mo naman kung gano nila ko kamahal!!! Leche!!! Hehehe… eh kung sumasama sila saken, eh di may karamay sana ako masermunan… hmp… hehehe… ^_^.. medyo bangag ako non sa school, 3 hours lang ang tinulog ko… sa susunod wala nang tulugan.. haha jowks lang…

Till next RAKRAKAN experience…. ASTEEEGGGG!!!!!!!!! \m/

Tuesday, July 4, 2006


i wrote this short story way back when I was on my 3rd yr...
a rush story... from a brain that runs so slow...
deal or no deal?!?!?! hehehe... *not edited*



Hanggang dito na lang ba ako? Hanggang titig na lang ba? Hanggang sulyap? Kailan ko kaya siya malalapitan? Makakausap ? at makita muli ang kanyang ngiti. Siguro nga’y hanggang dito na lang.

Isang linggo nang nakakaraaan ng unang araw ko sa kolehiyo. Ang paaralang pinapasukan ko ay isa sa mga paaralang pinagmamalaki ng Maynila, malaki, maraming estudyante, nakakapanibago talaga. Palibhasa’y lumaki sa probinsiya at nakipagsapalaran dito para makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, hindi ko inaasahang ganito pala ang mga tao dito. Parang hindi ko sila makalebel, tila ang tataas na di ko halos maabot. Simple lang naman ako, ayoko rin naman ng mataas ang tingin nila sa kin, siguro darating din ako doon, pero di pa sa ngayon, masasanay din ako.

Dahil sa kauumpisa pa lamang ng klase, at sa laki ba naman ng pinapasukan ko, tulad ko, marami pa rin estudyanteng nalilito sa kani-kanilang silid. Nasan ba tong room ko? Hindi nila alam. Buti na lang nakapaglibot ako dito bago pa magsimula ang klase kaya di ako naligaw. “Excuse me po, saan po ba ung Hall of Tech.?”, tanong sa akin ng isang babae. Noong una’y di ko siya napansin, di ko rin naman kasi narinig ang tanong niya. Inulit nya ulit. Tumingin ako sa kanya, maganda pala siya. “Ha?!”, ang tanging nasabi ko. “Thanks na lang po”, sabi niya sabay alis sa harap ko. Bakit “ha” lang kaya nasabi ko? Siguro nagulat lang ako sa kanya, o di kaya’y nasilaw ako sa kagandahan niya. Mukha naman siyang mahinhin, ang ganda nga ng tanong niya sa akin, may ngiti pang kasama. Doon ko siya unang nakita.

Lumipas ang isa, dalawa, hanggang sa magtatlong buwan, katatapos lang ng midterms. Marami-rami na rin akong nakilala, kahit tahimik ako sa klase, di naman ako nagpapahuli. Nasanay na rin ako sa buhay Maynila.

Naglalakad ako papuntang elevator, nagmamadali ako kasi baka mahuli ako sa klase, kakahiwalay lang namin ng kasama ko, yung kasabay ko kumain ng tanghalian, nakatingin pa ko sa likod habang naglalakad. Pagharap ko, oops…, nabangga ako. Ang sakit ng likod ko dahil napaupo ako, ano ba yan di kasi ako tumitingin sa dinaraanan. “Uuyy, sorry..”, tinig ng babae, inaabot niya yung kamay niya para itayo ako. Nakakahiya naman! Babae na nga nakabungguan ko tapos ako pa yung natumba. Inangat ko yung tingin ko para makita ko kung sino siya, kilala ko siya, nakita ko na siya no’n. “Hindi, sige kaya ko na”, tumayo ako, pinulot ko yung gamit niya na nahulog. “sorry ha”. “Okay lang wala yun”. Siya yung babae na nagtanong sa kin kung saan yung Hall of Tech. “Tin, tara na!”, sabi ng kasama niya, mukhang nagmamadali rin silang magkakaklase. Dito rin pala siya sa building ko nag rurum. Binigay ko yung gamit niya, kapalit no’n ang isang magandang ngiti na nakita ko sa mukha niya. Ang ganda, hindi ko makalimutan, gusto ko siya laging nakitang nakangiti, bagay sa kanya. Gusto ko na yata siya. Gusto ko siya makita ulit pagtapos non.

Lumipas ang mga araw, lagi ko siyang hinahanap sa hall, baka makita ko ulit siya, excited na ko. Mukhang tinamaan yata ako sa kanya. Gusto ko ang mga ngiti niya, ang tatamis na parang ayoko nang alisin ang mata ko sa kanya, lagi ko nga naiisip yung nabunggo ako. Mahaba ang buhok niya, katamtaman ang kulay ng balat, hindi naman siya matangkad, katamtaman lang, katamtaman lang ang lahat sa kanya kung titingnan siya maiigi, pero para sa akin, isang daang porsyento na ang lahat sa kanya’y maganda.

Sa araw-araw na pag-upo ko sa may hallway, ano pang inaasahan ko, edi makita lang si Tin. Nakikita ko siyang naglalakad kasama mga kaklase niya, nakikpagtawanan. Umuupo rin sila sa gilid ng hallway minsan, kaya nga lagi akong nandun pag wala akong klase. Kapag naroon na sila naka-tambay, umuupo ako kung saan makikita ko siya ng harapan, para makita ko uli yung ngiti niya, yun nga lang hindi na para sa kin. Okay lang di ko naman nanakawin kung para kanino yun, baka sa darating na araw, para sa akin na ulit yun. Ganoon lagi ang ginagawa ko, tingnan siya, nahihiya kasi ako. Nahihiya akong lapitan siya, ang dami niyang kasama baka asarin lang nila ako. Gusto ko nga siya kausapin, kaso nahihiya talaga ako.

Dumating ang araw na napansin kong paunti nang paunti ang mga kasama niya. Hanggang sa isa na lang ang kasama niya. Lalaki. Mula sa aking kinauupuan, tanaw ko ang bawat galaw niya. May hawak ang kamay niya, kamay ng lalaki, kamay ng katabi niya, kamay ng kausap niya. Boyfriend niya ? Hhmm.. malamang. Hawak kamay, magkasama lagi, nagsusuyuan, malamang boyfriend niya nga. Aray! Yung dibdib ko mukhang sasabog, ang sakit, dahil ba iyon sa nakita ko. Gusto ko nga siya. May boyfriend na pala siya. Ang bagal ko kasi! Bigla ko naisip, sana ako na lang yung lalaking kasama niya para makita ko ng malapitan yung ngiti niya. Nakakainis! Nakakapang-hinayang! Nakakabwisit! Badtrip! Hindi ako mapakali, naiirita ako sa tuwing makikita ko sila. “Ang tanga mo Mark!”, sabi ko sa sarili. Kung nilapitan ko siya agad, nagpakilala, nakausap. Sayang.

Ganun pa rin ang ginawa ko, tumambay sa hall, tingnan siya mula sa kinauupuan ko, kahit may boyfriend na siya. Hindi ko naman siya aagawin eh, hindi ako ganun. Nakikita ko silang nag-aaway, umiiyak siya minsan. Si Tin, umiiyak lang sa kanya? Dun sa lalaking walang kwenta. Nakakainis sila panoorin. Ans sarap sapakin nung lalaki, pinapaiyak lang niya si Tin. Hindi bagay sa kanya ang umiiyak. Minsan nga gusto ko ng lumapit, patahanin siya, patawanin muli, at ibibigay niya muli sa akin ang kanyang ngiti. Kaso hindi ko magawa. Baka sabihin nilang paki elam ko ba, eh nagmamahalan sila. Hay, buhay talaga. Bakit pa kasi ako nahiya noon, ngayon hindi ko na tuloy makita ang ngiti niya.

Hanggang dito na lang ba ako? Hanggang titig na lang ba? Hanggang sulyap? Kailan ko kaya siya malalapitan? Makakausap ? Makita muli ang kanyang ngiti. Siguro nga’y hanggang dito na lang.

di ko alam kung bakit ako magpopost nito...
dahil alam ko namang walang may gusto magcomment sa blog ko, kundi ako...
pero dahil sa request ng friend ko...
at dahil ako lang ata nakakaalam kung pano mag comment sa sarili kong blog,
sasabihin ko na rin dahil mabait naman ako... *ayos! gigilitan ko mag-react*

3 ways para makapag comment ka:
- as "blogger" mag log-in ka kung meron kang account sa blogger... tapos mag comment ka
- mag-comment ka as "anonymous"... <<>

ayun... yan yung screenshot ng comment page sa blogger.... so there...

wala lang.... -_,-

"Maybe you see me I’m always happy
But in my back I’m a lonely clown"….

- Clown by 6cyclemind –

Uhm… I mean what I wrote…. And I wrote what I mean… wala lang.. trip ko lang isulat yung first two lines na yan… because… I mean what I wrote… and I wrote what I mean….
*sometimes*….oopppssss… isang malaking *SOMETIMES*….

I wanted to update my blog para malaman ng mga readers *meron ba?* na buhay pa ko kahit wala naman silang pakialam kung buhay pa ko, pero okay lang saken yon…

I wanted to have a special mention in this post…
I’d like to thank my pare for viewing my blog… although *I guess* he thinks na wala lang saken yun, pero it means a lot… and it gives me courage to write more often… salamat at napagtyagaan mo pang basahin halos lahat ng naka post dito…. Ayos ka talaga… muahugs! Thanks. ^_^

Kakatapos ko lang magbasa ng Stainless Longganisa ni Bob Ong, and pasensya na medyo may amats pa ko sa libro nya… pero try ko magsulat.. aLa – Bob Ong style! Naks!!! *magreact, GIBA!!!* Nga pala.. gusto ko ipromote yung mga books ni Bob Ong… a must read for every Filipino students! Parang ice cream… Pagkatapos mong dilaan, babalik-balikan mo pa!!! *haha jowk lang!*

Wait for the next CoS (Confession of a Student) chapter… a-la Bob Ong style.. pero di ko ata kaya yun… kahit sinasabi ng sipon ko na kaya ko.. in my own style… but let’s see what magagawa ko…. I’m sorry sa medyo mahabang delay, busy lang talaga…. Di naman po kasi ako full time writer, I only write when I feel like my hands want to write or I feel my head is functioning *though it sleeps 59 seconds a minute, everyhour, everyday"…

I’ll post here next yung medyo makabuluhan na, kasi may sipon ako ngayon...
kapag may free time lang po kasi ako nagsusulat…and nakakapag post here... so there…
Again… thanks to filuish… *hugs ng marami*

salamat ng marami!!!! ^_^

PS... first two lines sa post ko eh may story... pero di personal story yun... tska ko nalang ikkwento... rock on eow!
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